Farewell, My Beloved Sango
by Avarwen
Summary: You have two paths you must choose from to take: The easy way out or the hard way through. Sometimes living is harder than dying. Sometimes the hardest thing about dying is those who you’ll be leaving behind. A MirokuSango fic. Warnings inside.


A\N: (This rant contains mild language toward the end, but the story itself is pretty much devoid of that stuff)

Well, I did say I was gonna write a Sango and\or Miroku fic like "Understand" or "Forever can't Last" And I did. Bet everybody's sorry they encouraged that now!

I've been writing too much WAFF stuff lately (or stuff relatively close to it) and my mind's about to explode in disgust. I need to get back to the angst, cause all this stuff sickens me, so I guess that's where this comes from.

Maybe this is an after effect of listening to "Smells like teen spirit" "Iris" and "Stop Crying Your Heart out" so often (since they seem to be my players choice of music at the moment).

I hope nobody present likes Miroku, cause this fic isn't really running in his favour (though it's not a bashing fic-- I'm actually quite fond of the monk myself, but I don't see a lot of fics like this and I was bored and in a bit of an annoyed and depressed mood so maybe I shouldn't write stuff when I get in that mood, because, as you can see, the results aren't entirely pretty). Still, I'm hoping it meets my usual standards.

BTW - I don't mind Flames, and Reviews are more than welcome, but absolutely no RIPS! They are annoying and pointless and so stupid.

Okay, so that's all of my rant for now, which means there's only one thing left to do before we get to the story.

**VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER --**_DO NOT IGNORE OR SKIP OVER THIS!_-- (Make certain you comprehend the following message before you continue!) -- I own this story. NOTHING ELSE! All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi (the creator of Inuyasha) and I make NO money (zero, zip, nada) money off of this, so don't sue me, cause if you do that's about all the money you'll get!

Do we understand one another?

If so, then please continue on with the story.

Warnings: Angst, drama, mild romance mention, **D-FIC**! and other shit like that.

Can't tolerate any of these things, then get the hell outta here!

Farwell, My Beloved Sango

This is a beautiful spot.

The cliff narrows down so there's only enough room for one to stand on it, and it over looks an ocean of forests and plains that stretch out to the horizon.

You would have liked this place, Sango.

It is a good place to come and think about things and be alone.

And I know you like finding places like that.

It gives you an opportunity to think about Kohaku-- about what will become of him when and if you save him from Naraku.

There's only one flaw with this place.

The wind.

The wind comes up in light gusts and breezes and ruffle the leaves of the lone Rowan that grown here, and carries the sounds of bird songs and the light spray of mist from the waterfall crashing down nearby-- by all accounts a perfect combination of earth, water and sky. Anyone would love it. But not you.

You hate the wind.

Because it is the wind, my dear Sango, upon which you always have to watch your little brother be carried away.

And it is also the wind, in a sense, that has cursed my hand with this void.

That is why I'm out here today.

My wind tunnel has spread again, Sango.

It's spread so far it's nearly taken over the entirety of the palm of my hand.

I only have a few hours left, I am certain, perhaps only mere moments.

Moments I would have wanted to spend with you.

Despite the fact that I constantly ask other women to bed with me and bear me a child, I have never been entirely serious about it. I am actually rather relieved none of them took me up on my offer-- I don't know what I would have done if they had.

I want a son to carry on after me and defeat Naraku and get the revenge for our family, but I could hardly ask any child to carry the burden of the wind tunnel.

And I am certain that it is not needed anymore.

Naraku has so many enemies now, it is only a matter of time before one of them kills them.

Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Kagome, Kouga, Kikyo, Shippo, Kirara and you Sango.

You all have exceptional powers and it is impossible for Naraku to withstand all of you.

So I am not worried that he will not be defeated.

Now I am more worried that, with my constant flirtation, I have hurt you.

And I'll never be able to apologize for it.

After all, the wind tunnel is a deadly weapon-- one I have relied on more times than I can count.

Life without it would have been strange, I imagine, but it would have been better than carrying this burden around with me forever.

And a burden it is, more than it was ever of any use.

It's because of this wind tunnel that I can't come say goodbye to you, hold you close and tell you I love you before I die.

It's simply too risky.

I don't know when, exactly, the wind tunnel will try and draw me into it's void, but when it does I can't be anywhere near you.

I don't want to suck you in as well, and staying near would only seal your fate to be caught in the void as well.

I could never condemn you-- any of you-- to that.

You deserve so much more than that, Sango, and I wish you all the happiness in life, even if I am not there.

Being strong in life... it's not easy.

Overcoming uncertainties is difficult.

But I know you do so.

You have Inuyasha and Kagome there to help, and even little Shippo, who notices much more than any of us have ever given him credit for.

And, even without them, you are strong on your own.

You were willing to give up your own life and face destroying your brother if only to save him and be with him once again. That decision is more than most of us could ever hope to have the strength to make.

Still, I'm glad you stopped.

I'm glad Inuyasha stopped you.

That wasn't a fate that either of you deserved.

And when dealing with indecisions in life, you have two paths you must choose from to take: The easy way out or the hard way through.

Sometimes living is harder than dying.

Sometimes the hardest thing about dying is those who you'll be leaving behind.

The uncertainty of death passes for those who are dead-- all that is left is the grief of those left behind. That is what spirits are made of, Sango. The ghosts that linger afterward-- who cannot leave because they are bound to someone who simply could not release them to death, or else they have bound themselves to someone who they could not release to life. They are bound because those people are scared to live.

They don't want to let each other go.

Ask Inuyasha about it.

Talk to him.

He may not be the most rash person in the world, and he is indeed brazen, but he, more than anyone else in our group I think, knows what it is to have someone dead bound to you.

You may be able to relate to him.

I am sure that he and Kagome will be able to protect you.

That is the only reason I can even begin to embrace the trial that is this death, and it has come upon me at last.

The sun is sinking, and when it reaches the horizon my time will end.

I can feel it.

And it's strange-- I always thought there was great beauty and power in sunsets. I never thought my life would be ending to one.

The wind rustles up again, bringing the promise of a storm sometime in the future, and I clench my fist together more tightly.

My hand misses the staff that is no longer there.

Because I left that with you, Sango.

Something to remember me by.

All I need is my heart to remember you.

The sun sinks lower, bathing the ground in red, and I know my time has come.

I can feel the curse in my hand beginning to open already, trying to break the spell of the prayer beads.

Calmly I sit on the cliff face, feeling sadness but no longer any fear of this death.

You have taken away that fear Sango.

But in doing so you gave me something to want to live for, and that only makes this all the harder.

And so, with heavy heart, the time has come when at last I must say my final goodbye, even though I know you cannot hear.

Farewell, my beloved Sango.

END

A\N: Well that's it. Hope I got Miroku's character down alright-- it's not one I'm exactly used to writing so it's a little difficult to get into his mind frame.

The quote in this fic that I stole from Miroku "Being strong in life, etc" is from episode 41 "Kagura's Dance and Kanna's Mirror". I don't know who came up with it, but it's a nice quote and I like it so I used it.

Also, I don't believe in ghosts, so...

Other than that, I've really got nothing else to say about this.

Please don't feel afraid to leave a review! (It's not like it'll hurt you or anything!)


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